Friday, January 10, 2014

2013 Flipped my World

2013.The year of Macklemore & Miley.  Of zombies & twerking.  Of Duck Dynasty & baby Prince George.  Of gay marriage & Obamacare & the iPhone 5.

All that happens within one calendar year can change the face of the entire world.

And if not the entire world at-large; maybe your world.  Your entire world may be flipped upside down in a matter of 365 small, short days.  Days you often find yourself wishing had more minutes.

2013 was a flip-your-whole-world-upside-down sorta year for myself.

Just one year ago today, I found myself telling close friends, "I love this man.  I think I might be dating my husband."

Dating 9 long months overseas, Zach returned home to the States from India, told me he loved me, put a ring on my finger, and we planned a December wedding.  4 months of engagement -- littered with Pinterest & Etsy creations, job changes & relational challenges, two hearts binding together, family hurts, death, new beginnings & grievous ends.

In the same year, my very best friend on earth got hitched herself.  We lived together for years and her husband & my husband?  Roommates for a few months themselves.  We wept saying goodbye as roommates, moved down the street from each other, and now exchange couches & dinner tables as places of refuge (exchange isn't a fair word -- she simply makes me dinner).

My other best friend...filled with life & pregnant with her third.  Grieved the loss of her beloved brother in law.  Little baby Judah Peter, your name is filled with more meaning than we'll ever know this side of heaven. 

We began a new obsession with Spikeball.  We moved houses.  We started new traditions and kept old ones.  We talked about faith and hope and love.  We got engaged, then quickly married men we will forever wake up next to.  We learned from God about God.  We questioned our identities and leadership and prayed over coffee. 

My friend got a heart transplant.  I spent 2 weeks in India.  I lived in the mountains & fell even more in love with Colorado this summer.  I fell even more in love with BGSU Greeks.  I struggled with my job & my calling & my dreams.

This year flipped my world upside down.  And I've yet to find my feet.  I'm far from understanding how to walk in this new world, with these new changes, and I -- in the same breath -- curse God & bless God for this new world.  I question Him, doubt Him, and wonder if I'll ever figure this out.  And in the very same breath, I worship God, I thank Him, and trust He knows what He is doing.
    ...and I'd like to think He is pleased with the honest heart.  The heart that isn't quite sure, but walks ahead anyway.

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